Stop it with that fucking "I got a feeling" song

Over the course of the past few weeks I've heard it countless times on the radio and seen the title used in innumerable Facebook statuses. It's a stupid fucking song. It repeats the same autotuned line over and over and over--something that should remain the specialty of techno artists (and this is why techno sucks). I'm going to block anyone who uses it as their status on Facebook. Fuck. Just FUCKING CUT IT OUT.

Agnostics

No, I'm not gonna start talking about religion. Not now. 'Agnostic' here refers to fence-sitters, the wishy-washy, those who can't decide between one or the other and decide to sit in the middle ground, "to be safe".

"To be safe."

Nothing is more annoying than these safetyfags. In terms of health, it's ok to play on the safe side. In fact it's encouraged. But in other matters it's unforgivable. In politics (both large- and small-scale, from your circle of friends to an entire nation), religion, or in matters of opinion, especially when there's only 2 choices, you're either on one side or the other. No maybes, no in-betweens. Why? Apart from proclaiming to everyone how much of a coward you are, you sitting on the fence solves nothing. Here's a small everyday example that anyone can relate to:


(Characters Vincent, Nick, and Ed belong to a local community that specializes in caltrops.)

Nick: Caltrops brand A sucks...in my opinion.
Ed: WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT CALTROPS BRAND A THATS MY FAVORITE CALTROPS BRAND YOU FUCKING SHIT FACE I WILL KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS BUT ONLY FROM BEHIND MY MONITOR BECAUSE THAT'S ALL I CAN REALLY DO.

(Ed and Nick become enemies for months and counting, with Nick provoking Ed for fun because he has such a short fuse and an Internet tough guy persona, and Ed just falling for it everytime, throwing nonsensical curses and displaying idiocy and lack of comprehension, causing chaos and disorder in an otherwise peaceful messageboard about caltrops.)

Vincent: (in private, to some friends) You know guys, I love this community and I hate to see things like this happening. I know Ed is wrong but I refuse to have anything to do with this because I care too much about my reputation and/or I do not want to be called a fucking shit face in public. Also, I am friends with both. Really, they're both wrong. Let's just not take sides and let them settle this for themselves. The problem will go away on its own eventually.

In this example, Vincent knows who's at fault, but, to avoid damaging his social status, he avoids the topic altogether and just pretends nothing is happening.

Does Vincent really think this will solve the problem? Does Vincent love his community enough?

No. He doesn't.

If he did care about the community he will take a side. Let's look at his options and explore the consequences:

If he chooses to side with Ed, peace will be restored because this will most likely drive Nick and others like him away. Although Vincent will ask himself, why am I feeling bad? It's because he took the wrong side.

If he chooses to side with Nick, peace will be restored because now they can both make Ed realize that he is wrong, and they can both help him see the light and Ed will eventually learn to make sure he doesn't open his stupid fucking mouth when it's not necessary. Will Vincent still feel bad? He'll feel bad for Ed at first, but eventually they'll all be friends who respect each other.

Obviously one choice is better than the other, depending on your character alignment. But regardless of what Vincent chooses, it's still much better than being a spineless fence-sitter.

Don't be a Vincent. Unless the topic is extraterrestrial life.

Idiots and elevators

You know when you get called for an interview and when you arrive at the place, you see that it's a tall, intimidating building and suddenly you can't wait to start working here, nevermind what the company that you're applying for is actually like? Once you do get hired and you realize that you'll have to deal with the elevators and idiots who use it everyday--especially when your office is located at the higher floors--it just makes you want to submit your resignation after a few weeks. There are five types of stupid shit that people regularly do with elevators that piss me off:

Pressing both Up and Down buttons: I am not so sure where people get the idea that they'll reach their destination faster if you press both buttons. The premise behind the buttons is simple: If you wanna go up, press Up, then an elevator that's going up will stop to pick you up. Otherwise press Down. If you're waiting for an elevator on a floor that isn't the top or the bottom and some idiot does this, there's a chance that a perfectly unoccupied elevator that would have otherwise gone your way will now instead go the opposite direction to pick up some asshole exec at the top floor. And neither you nor the idiot that pressed both buttons can go downstairs until the elevator stops again at your floor, and chances are, by the time it happens it's already full.

Pressing the Up or Down buttons more than once: It's not gonna make the elevator go faster. Stop doing it.

Stopping an elevator on the second floor, only to get off at the ground floor/lobby floor: This one NEVER fails to irritate me. If you're on a wheelchair or you have a heavy load with you MAYBE this could be justified, but if you have perfectly functional legs and aren't carrying anything cumbersome then you deserve to get mugged and beaten up by squatters from Navotas. There's a reason why buildings have stairs; use them. It's especially annoying when the idiot who does this is obese. You ever wonder why you're so fat?

Idiots who start running toward the elevators and try to get you to wait for them by shouting "UP UP UP UP" or "DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN": Nope. You really think the door should be held open for you by repeatedly shouting which direction you want to go? Thanks for the useless information, but we really have to go. You're 10 paces away, the door is closing, and I'm late, and so is everyone on the elevator, and you're a dumbass for thinking we're gonna wait for you in the first place. Telling us where you wanna go does NOTHING. You can try communicating like a human being, or coming in earlier next time.

Passengers who press one floor above yours (when going down) or below (when going up): While this can't be helped, god damn if it isn't annoying. I'm pretty sure everyone finds this annoying, and if you say you don't you are a goddamn liar.

Please, use elevators wisely.

Multidirection peeing

This is one of the things that has never failed to irritate and perplex me at the same time. Why is it that when guys take the first piss in the morning the urine flies in at least two directions? This happens to me EVERY morning, usually followed by stopping awkwardly, then gently trying again, with the first few trickles showing signs of hope, only to find out that nothing is fixed when you let it loose at full power. And I keep doing it until out of frustration I just let the pee flow, not caring about it hitting the toilet seat or spilling on the floor anymore.
What's worse is whenever it happens, the urine will usually fly into every direction EXCEPT towards the toilet bowl, no matter how good your aim is. While this usually isn't a problem if you're not the one cleaning the toilet, it's still annoying when one of the piss streams hits your boxers, or your leg.

Many people say it results from leftover dried cum hanging out at the tip of your urethra and partially blocking the hole, splitting the single urine stream into separate streams. I'm having a hard time believing this, because regardless of whether or not I jerk off before I sleep at night, it still happens. And it doesn't happen if, say, I jerk off in the morning and pee later in the middle of the day. Whatever. I fucking hate when this happens.

Hello, welcome to Bubbletown's Happy Zoo

Test post.